Six days. I could only survive in art school for six days.
Many people have asked me, and still ask me, the reason I left. And to give them an explanation every single time is excruciating. So I thought, why not just write it here. So the next time they ask me, I will guide them here. Hehe
But really, I just want to get it out of my system.
Before we dwell into the reasons for leaving art school, I want to tell you about my academic background. I was a very average student. It’s not like I was dumb. It’s just that I never enjoyed school and the subjects they taught. Also because I am lazy, so I didn’t work hard.
I won’t go Into the details. All you need to know is, after a very painful 2 years in Alevels ( I studied physics, chemistry and mathematics), I somehow managed to get grades that made me eligible for universities. But I was having trouble in getting a equivalence certificate. It is a certificate you need in my country if you did not study from the country’s education board. And you need to have it to get into almost all universities, specially engineering . So I had only a few universities to choose from. I was also very afraid of aptitude tests. I feared I might fail in all of them.
At this point, I was able to convince my dad to enroll me into a arts university named KITE. It wasn’t a well known university, but they were accepting anyone and everyone. That means I could easily get in. Their eligibility criteria was very low and all I had to do was pass a easy entry test.
Here I am going to tell you how I degraded myself. Often times, we let go of some great opportunities in life just because we don’t think we are good enough. We never go for something amazing and settle for something less because (a) we are afraid of failure (B) we think we don’t deserve it. Because we don’t aim for the best in life we never get it. If we want the best, we have to suffer to get it.
However, I got in for communication design. I joined 2 months after the semester started (weird I know). I thought this is the best thing that ever happened to me. I thought my dreams are coming true. But no, art school turned out to be exactly how I never thought it would be.
The first year is the foundation year and everybody learns the same thing. That meant I had to learn sketching, painting, some pottery stuff, some interiors stuff, programming, working with illustrator and art history . Now don’t get me wrong, I like drawing, but I don’t love it. In fact, I lost interest in it as I grew old. My only favorite course was illustration. That was the reason I came to art school. I wanted to learn animations and motion design.
On top of that, my drawing instructor was a pain. I didn’t have very good experiences with teachers in the past and I literally feared very strict ones. It was a four hour class and she used to pick on everyone. I couldn’t just use my imagination freely. I always thought she might not like this or she might not like that. Even tiny criticisms can ruin my day. And her criticisms were not tiny. I wasn’t able to focus. I wasn’t able to be myself.
Moreover, my classmates weren’t really the best people. Not that they did anything bad. I just didn’t feel comfortable with them. We were just not the same type. I always felt like they are judging me or making fun of me. And that just further demotivated me. I already had difficulty in communicating with people and this made it even worse.
But the main problem occurred when they asked me to sketch protraits and human forms. If you are a non Muslim, you might find it difficult to understand. But drawing human protraits is not allowed. And I just couldn’t do that. I didn’t want to loose my connection with Allah (God). It was difficult to let go of my passion but somehow Allah made it easy. The pressure of trying to fit in was getting to me. And slowly, I started to drift away from art. It didn’t seem as attractive anymore. I started to focus more on how I should impress others instead of how good my assignments look. On top of that, I joined late and I had a zillion other assignments to cover.
All of the four days that I actually went to university were excruciatingly painful. Everybody advised me to give it time as it will get better. But somewhere deep down I knew this is not going to work out. To spend first 4 hours of your day in a class reeking of paint. And the next 3 hours in a room receiving stares from people. No, not going to work out.
So after the first four days, I took 2 days off for my sister’s wedding. Four days felt like four months. Both my parents saw through me. And they simply told me to discontinue university if I want to. Thanks to Allah for such amazing parents. So I left and started preparing for the aptitude test of the best business school and got in. That’s a whole new journey and I will write about it someday In sha Allah (if God wills).
You might think I was very weak. And you might be completely right. I thought I was very weak too. But now after 10 months, I feel at peace knowing I left. Sometimes when Allah wants something better for you, he makes even the bearable situations unbearable. I never considered myself intelligent enough to apply for a good university. But He did. That’s why he closed this door and opened another and better one for me. Allah’s planning is perfect.
Lessons from my story.
- Don’t ever ever underestimate yourself. Always aim for the best. Or you will make decisions like I did.
- Always believe in Allah to take you out of any predicament. God is always with you.
I hope you enjoyed reading. If you had similar experiences please do tell me about it in the comments section. Also don’t forget to leave your thoughts down below. Take Care. Bye!
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